I've spent real money trying to fix my body

One area: the best decision I made. One area: the biggest regret I have.

Saddlebags — rate. No amount of exercise was changing this. It was a genuine quality-of-life decision, and I rate it.

Stomach — don't rate. My surgeon talked me into it during the consultation. I didn't need it. I now have ripply, loose skin that wasn't there before.

Arms — on the fence. They're great now, but I'm not sure lipo is why.

The most important thing I can tell you: do not let anyone talk you into treating areas you didn't come in for. Know what you want before you walk in — and hold that line.

I rate mine. But there is something every woman considering this needs to know — and most aren't told.

My first set were textured tear-drop implants. They had to be removed — they're linked to a rare cancer called BIA-ALCL. One had ruptured. One had capsular contracture within five years.

My second set: I love them.

What I wish I'd known. First, textured implants carry a risk that wasn't fully understood when I had mine — always ask what type is being used, and why. Second, implants generally need replacing roughly every ten years; most women are never told this upfront, and it is a lifelong commitment.

I still rate the outcome. But I want you going in with every piece of information I didn't have.

Save. Your. Money. I have tried so many — I mean it.

Suction machine courses. Lymphatic drainage hand massage. Lymphatic drainage machine courses. Multiple technologies. Multiple rounds of hope. Nothing worked.

Cellulite is structural — it's connective tissue, not something sitting on the surface waiting to be treated away. If a treatment promises to eliminate cellulite, be very, very sceptical.

Eight sessions on each leg since 2012. I think it's time to stop.

For me it's always one of two outcomes: brief improvement that doesn't last, or immediate worsening. The honest truth is I may be chasing a result that isn't achievable for my particular veins. Sometimes the most useful thing I can tell you is when to redirect your money.

I'm currently exploring the Cynosure Elite+ laser as an alternative. I'll update you.

Permanently smooth legs. Life changing. And a warning I wish I'd had.

The result: I love it. No shaving. No waxing. Worth it.

The cautionary tale: I had mine done in Singapore and was never given sun aftercare advice. I now have significant hyperpigmentation on my legs. For context, I grew up in Queensland, Australia — pre-existing sun damage was already a factor — but the lack of aftercare advice was a genuine failing.

Before you book, always ask: what sun precautions do I need, for how long, and am I a good candidate given my skin history? Sun avoidance post-laser is non-negotiable. Do not let any clinic skip this conversation.

Face and neck: one of the best things I've ever done. Stomach: three sessions, nothing obvious.

This is not a verdict against Morpheus8 — on my face and neck it delivered genuinely impressive results. But for stomach skin tightening after liposuction, it did not deliver for me.

A note: I can no longer have any RF treatments due to my vagus nerve stimulator — so this is also my final word on it. If you're considering it for the body, go in with realistic expectations and a provider who will be honest about candidacy.

Just done. Ask me again in six months.

Nitrogen plasma energy — resurfacing and skin tightening. Results take a minimum of six months, and I may need more than one course. What I can tell you right now: the recovery was minimal, and no sun exposure for at least two weeks.

I'll update you when I have something worth reporting.

Downtime: minimal · Aftercare: no sun exposure for at least two weeks.

Something is happening. But I need more time.

IPL on my legs for sun damage — two treatments in, and I can see some fading. It's doing something. This is emphatically not a one-and-done: multiple sessions are required, and I'm supplementing with topical creams between treatments to help the fading along.

Important: sun exposure between sessions can cause hyperpigmentation to darken again and undo your progress. Strict sun protection is part of the treatment, not optional. Patience is part of the deal — I'll update when I have the full picture.